I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
