Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize