in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
