So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have feelings that need drinking.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
