Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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