i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sarcasm needs its own font
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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