even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
