the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
