whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
