butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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