hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
