dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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