I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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