Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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