How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Randomize