just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
