i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Im part way to drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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