just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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