I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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