My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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