"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
