Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
