im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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