His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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