You're so nebulous sometimes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Randomize
