For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
