Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
