They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
