So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
