I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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