They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
