That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You pole danced in your parka.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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