Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize