Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
