Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize