All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
