Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
