Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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