youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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