Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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