I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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