absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
