so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
