"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
