Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
