It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
