Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
