I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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