Buhtt sex?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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