HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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