Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
