I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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