I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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