Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
