FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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