Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
