OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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