dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
