I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize