dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
