brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
