wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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