This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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