i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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