i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I am spending my child support on dildos
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
